It really all started when Leslie texted me to tell us that our limo had been cancelled. A reservation that had been in place for nearly a week. Not only did they cancel the limo, but they cashed in her gift certificate as well. We will call this SHENANIGANS. I, being well acquainted with Leslie, knew that everything would be OK. If she had to stab someone in the face, we would still have a limo. And yes, we did.
Leslie and our driver, James, picked us up promptly at 6PM. It was raining but James was a gentleman and escorted us with an umbrella.
One bottle of wine later, we realized we were headed to the wrong Nobu. We informed James of this, and he was less pleased. However, we made it all the way back uptown in record time and arrived at Nobu right around 7.
Once we got into the restaurant they sent us immediately upstairs. This was good - it meant we were NOT actually hoodwinked out of $4050. When they led us to the table THERE WAS ISABELLA.
Patty says she murmured "OH shit, there she is." She probably did. However, I was zeroed in on Isabella. Patty's head could have been on fire and I wouldn't have noticed.
She introduced herself, which I thought was completely adorable. Had a moment of scare when I couldn't speak right away. But I kind of recovered and spit out "KRIS!" I got on track after that.
I kind of bitched about John Lucas being at our dinner, but he proved to be a lifesaver. He kept the conversation rolling in a very friendly and companionable way. He included us and asked Isabella to tell us funny stories. Which was awesome.
I can't give many details about the food. I just ate what they put in front of me. It was very often fish, I am told. But again, I didn't give a shit. ISABELLA > food. The first thing they served was right up my alley. Edamame and some kind of chili thing. Best part about that? Isabella ate a super hot chili and nearly died. Well, not really. But she did fry her throat and coughed for a while. AWESOME.
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| The final sushi course. There were like 7 that came before this. |
Then came the fish. Which was good, I guess, because it was lemony and salty. I'll let someone else wax poetic about Nobu's fish. The conversation was the best part.
Bonaparte's headshot was passed around the table before we even got our first course. She agreed, he's beautiful. We know this. She also saw Victor, who she loved and she loves corgis. And she saw Callie, Beckett and (dearly departed) Lulu. She loves Tabby Cats.
She drank beer. You totally wouldn't expect that - she drank Kirin Ichi. HEEEE.
We talked some about White Oak and she gave us the history. Something about a 10 year old Russian who emigrated to the US and started a paper company which eventually became White Oak.
She talked about Roberto becoming a Marine Biology major, and the fact that Elettra is getting her Masters in biomedicine, while maintaining a full-time modeling job. For those playing along at home, she is a spokesmodel for Lancome. Full circle.
She told us where her apartment on the Upper West side was, 2 blocks from Leslie. She sold it (in two days) to move full time to her house is the country. I know where, but I'm not going to tell you. She also talked about the apartment she had on Madison Ave with the walk-around terrace.
There was also a hilarious story about her housekeeper's husband and his brief stint as a "driver" for the country elite. Her impression of an anorexic chain-smoking old woman with a cat under one arm and a dog under the other, was something that shoudl not be missed. If you're ever having dinner with her, ask about that. (But you won't, because you're not that lucky.) The driver's name was Margerito, which apparently means "Daisy" in Italian.
We had a long conversation about facebook and the fact that there are several Isabella Rossellini's on facebook. She is none of them. As a matter of fact, an older friend of hers keeps messaging her on facebook to no avail. We talked about teachers losing their jobs due to posting a picture of themselves drinking (she thinks that's stupid), and her son facebooks. He was so stupid (her words) because he once facebooked that he was leaving town to go snorkeling and he was robbed while he was gone. He has 900 friends.
She talked a lot about training her dogs, and wondered why they don't use portuguese water dogs as service dogs. She also told us about the dog she picked up on the street that loves her to pieces, but tries to keep her other dogs away from her. His name is Pinnochio because deep down inside, he wants to be good. Of the three dogs she has, one she picked up in Long Island and one she picked up in Italy. The third was a dog that washed out of the guide dog program and she adopted (a labradoodle).
She talked about the socio-economic downfall of museums and how people who aren't tourists are driven away from the culture in their beloved cities. She thinks it's ridiculous that it costs $300 to go to the Opera and she really approves of Netflix. (score!) And would like to see movies released in all technologies (her words) at the same time. She was very impressed that the Tribecca Film Festival is putting their movies on demand and she obviously follows her father's belief that movies are for everyone, not just the elite. Let me tell you, she was killing me every time she said "Theat-ah".
She asked us if we'd seen the Japanese cat who climbs into boxes (I hadn't) and we discussed the Tsunami and the wave wall that dropped 3 meters. She is also afraid of nuclear power, despite its supposed benefits. Anything you have to bury underground for 10,000 to destroy it is apparently not cool. (I kind of agree). She is also skeptical that we are being told the whole story about the oil spill in the gulf.
She talked about having an empty nest, with her kids going off to do their stuff. She said she would probably have to give the big house to her housekeeper, husband and 3 kids who live in a small structure at her country house. Apparently they throw some wicked parties and emerge from the house like clowns in a clown car (her analogy).
Oh! And she drives now. Her look of complete horror let us know how that was going. (I'm guessing not so hot.)
She loved discussing Moneypenny and is fascinated by hairless dogs. She was particularly tickled by the fact that MP has tan lines. She also loved a picture of Bubba and MP walking side by side. People, do you realize she asked if I had videos of B on youtube? THAT TOTALLY HAPPENED. Now I have to go clean out my youtube videos so she never finds Maneater.
Near the end of dinner, she decided to tell us a very funny but slightly dirty story. She was visiting a blind man (there are less blind people today than there used to be - Isabella Fact) who had her over for tea. He was showing her his independence by boiling water and pouring cups of tea. He commented that the dogs were quiet (she'd brought one of her puppies in training to visit with his service dog). She did not quite have the guts to tell him that's because they were humping each other. Imagine THAT awkward silence.
For the record, some of the things we talked about were John's stories and while they were fun, they are not included in this record because John is NOT > everything. Isabella > everything.
Finally we presented the champagne flutes. I think at first she was underwhelmed because she hadn't opened the box - really, a box of wine glasses? But once she saw the painting on it, I think she was really touched. She looked at them and was impressed but it took a minute and then she took them out again and had to reinspect them. She said her kids will LOVE them. Heee! She wanted to pack them up good so that they made it home safely. Wine glasses = win. By then it was time to take pictures. I actually managed one of me and Isabella together with the wine glasses and Moolly. This will be my profile picture on Facebook for the rest of my life. Then we took a billion group pictures before she had to leave. She had an hour and a half drive in front of her to get home and it was already 10 o'clock.
To say the evening was amazing would be an understatement. She was so genuine and so sweet and kind and had a lot of really cool things to say. It could have been awkward, but we did in fact hold our shit together and mostly kept up with the conversation. She wanted to know our plans for the rest of our stay and let us know about her favorite things to do. I kind of really want to see the Museum of Modern Art now on her recommendation. And before dinner, she was hanging out at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to do research for a paper she's writing.
OH. YEAH. And she told us about the monologue she wants to do called "Mama" about the different "standards" for mothers between humans and animals. The mice that eat their children to survive to take care of the rest and so on. She's gathering information on that right now. She talked some about Late Bloomers, a french movie shot in English, and a pitch she's making to Sundance next week. We know that she didn't like doing theat-ah because the schedule was grueling and she only saw her son for a few hours for breakfast, and apparently the pay is only $250 a week. RIP-OFF.
She loves California and especially LA and she's going to be in France all summer doing press for Late Bloomers. Her housekeeper keeps the dogs while she's away, but she misses them.
If you ever have the chance to meet Isabella Rossellini - DO. IT. She will blow your mind with her genuineness. She will be everything fabulous you can imagine and more.
PS - Don't let anybody tell you differently - she is gorgeous and flawless. GORGEOUS.
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| Isabella, Green Porno glasses, Moolly and ME! |
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| Us with the glasses again. :D |
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| Dinner For Seven - Nobu 57 (April 16, 2011) |
